Square Science

Things you probably didn’t know about hipsters

You know something about hipsters. Since you are reading this, there is a good chance you are one. Or maybe you think you aren’t, but we are here to convince you otherwise. Let’s go.

No matter the level of your personal hip, there are some firm notations on the subject. Hipsters can be recognized by factors like dress code or weird paraphernalia, or stuff that’s considered cool. Cool is a dodgy word since the way you would use the word might radically differ than some fo the subjects of this article would. SO it all comes down to one thing – how cool are you?

One of the preferred methods to describe hipsters is not what they are, but what they aren’t. Hipsters aren’t mainstream. They also don’t like to prescribe to a certain style or label. But icebergs only looks simple on the surface. Here’s a VENN diagram that aims to explain the intricate relation between mainstream and its relative counterpart :

Creately – Draw, Share, Validate and Export diagram

Oh wait, did I say counterpart? Yes, you heard right! It’s obvious that a hipster is so much more than just the complementary of the mainstream. What isn’t considered conventional by, of course, other conventional peoples, do not necessarily belong to the hip domain by default. Which makes hipsters very elusive a breed to pinpoint.

Finding hipsters is more difficult than determining if you are one for yourself. This mission can go in the wrong direction pretty easily. Especially when asking the right questions. And here comes the fat lady sings part: asking hipsters about their identity is probably the worst approach to finding the truth.

Hipsters have a volatile sense of themselves, so asking about such identity can yield nothing but misleading hints. Having an accurate hipster self-image relates a lot to the mind mechanics commonly abused in the game of poker.

Use the simple graph below to get to the bottom of the burning question: Are you a hipster?

Creately – Draw, Share, Validate and Export diagram

Hipsters would never reveal themselves, especially if confronted outright. A positive answer to a direct question would definitely suggest you are talking to a fake hipster. And a no means yes roughly 50% of the time.

However, the other 50% are individuals lurking through one of the most dangerous social layers known to kind men. The hip wannabes.

Creately – Draw, Share, Validate and Export diagram

Finding an actual hipster is extremely difficult and super-unsafe due to the risk of bumping into their highly grievous substitute: the hipster wannabe.

Hipsters and wannabes are like edible mushrooms and their poisonous cousins. Look at the graph above: it clearly was made by a hip person – there’s a spelling mistake and only a hip dingy would do such a thing. Hipsters don’t actively seek to break the rules but are definitely up for it. Wannabies are dangerous because of the unpredictable behavior define by their character. If met in the wild, there is little hope for escape – they can definitely climb threes. But if you meet them in a social setting, they are no less dangerous. You need to keep your eyes peeled and your shirt – tucked in your pants.

There is one easy way to tell a wannabe. They believe they are hipsters and will get offended if not given the recognition they think they deserve. Ask your friend if they think they are hipsters. Yes, the one who carries that old analog Nikkon with them, just to pull it out for that one picture they took and just would not stop talking about it for a week.

Them denying your accusations is a shred of solid evidence, but not enough for a 100% confirmation. If people get angry at you for asking them if they consider themselves a hip person – you are definitely on to something. We are going to do some more research and add some valid counter actions that pertain to this specific scenario. Stay tuned.

Until then, remember: a hipster is a finite term. On one end, there’s the

H > mainstream

and on the other side of the equation – borderline trash can accessories:

(to be continued..)

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