Square Science

Humans as a dead branch (Part II)

We (humans) are the descendants of cruder species. Hence the quality of my first graphic I scraped below. It explains the evolutionary destiny of our species compared to other less and more successful species, namely bonobos and gorillas.

gorilla-bonobo-hume-chart

The Dead Branch

On an evolutionary scale, gorillas branched off the main homo tree much earlier than we or the pygmy chimps did. They did it because they were a bit inferior to what was – at that time – the emerging homo smartness, represented by us in their then form ( pre-homo sapiens). The reason why some species evolved so much and others did not is chiefly encoded in the way they fuck.

Or suck, does not matter.

Or suck, does not matter.

Let me explain: gorillas have small balls and dicks.  Evolutionary speaking, maybe the reason for that is not too far shoved under countless layers of development. The female gorilla impregnation process is normally preceded by a fight between all males who 1) are fit enough to enter ‘The Dragon’ and 2) have the urge to do it. Because let’s face it, wet pussy is sometimes not worth the time or the risk. Back to the gorilla case. Let’s imagine that you are an average specimen from a herd of gorillas with a mixed variety of males and females. Now, let’s say you are an average male gorilla who wants to fuck. To get to the wet box, you need to fight with a competition, eventually maybe also the strongest gorilla in the herd. In other words, unless you are the strongest male gorilla in the herd, you don’t even get to fuck. So sit down, unless you want to get your head bashed in front of all your gorilla-pussy-hungry peers.

This gorilla-based male/female relation has a human analog and could be observed around night clubs or in places where the female:male ratio is around 1:10.

Sorry gorilla, you are beautiful, but not from the inside

Sorry gorilla, you are beautiful, but not from the inside

Contrary to what most assume, the Survival of the fittest worked well during the Jurassic period. In the 21st century, we either use our brains or get extinct. Is our extinction related to our sexual behavior? I think yes. That, or alien invasion.

Bonobos: The Surviving smart monkeys

Take a look at how bonobos fuck.

they don't even look like monkeys when it comes to sex

they don’t even look like monkeys when it comes to sex

Bonobos live in groups, of course, where all females are being fucked by all the males, without any fights for the best ass or jealousy-driven brawls. Male bonobos fuck lots of females. Everybody enjoys sex and, contrary to what gorillas do, allow the fight between surviving genes take place on sperm level. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is part of the reason why bonobos have much bigger balls compared to gorillas, even humans.

some, no all

some humans at least…

Recap: Gorillas fight for the right to fuck and one guy gets the girl, where bonobos enter the orgy and keep aggression outside of sex matters.

I’ll let you decide which species are more human-like.

While bonobos cuddle or just roll happily around in grassy leaves, the battle for the best gene is decided on a micro-level, by the female egg. Gorillas’ best gene is passed to the one who is able to bash the heads of everyone else on the herd. What a waste. Gorilla gene translation is a model best adapted for surviving dinosaur times, where the biggest problem was to eat without getting eaten. In homo sapiens, the brute force gave way to creative thought. While ancient times required raw power and instincts, contemporary reality bets more on the brains.

Why am I surrounded by ridiculous counterexamples trying to drain the tiny hope I have left for humanity? It seems The Law of the Jungle remained there – in the bush. Did not quite made the leap onto the concrete jungle.

With the fairly recent development of the brain in primates – which we humans claim we are best at – survival priorities quickly shifted and those who failed to adapt – gorillas for example – became trash DNA. Nature confirmes that ‘project gorilla’ is no longer relevant to the new reality here on Earth, and is undergoing a slow – but sure – shut down.

So where do we stand in all this? Unfortunately for us, human male-female relationships today are more gorillas-esque than bonobo-like. We are the jealous protectors of our females and we don’t allow anyone else to even touch her. With a negative interpretation of promiscuity shared by most, and with the promotion of marital relationships, we have gradually managed to rechannel our own evolutionary progress into a dead end.

By keeping a gorilla mindset, we have consciously chosen our own demise.

12 Comments

  1. it sorta makes sense, and I’ve heard about the bonobos before how they fuck instead of fighting each time there’s tension, but I din’t see you point, be it philosophical or humorous.

    There’s both gorillas, and bonobos, bothe species exist and do their thing; there’s humans that actually fly to space and invent medicine, so what’s a ‘dead branch’? That we’re gonna die out because there’s marriage? I highly doubt that.

    There are promiscuous people too and we have sex before marriage, some fuck a lot of women in marriage too 🙂 PLus jusdging by the results the constraints are a bit more fruitful, it’s the austere white christian (at large) civilization that has invented computers video games, not some free love tribe in africa.

    Those are my opinions, but in relation to article they are still persisting too and you don’t make any point as it seems, just making observations. Some moments are stil very funny, mostly pictures and their captions.

    maybe I’m a dumbbell and missed your point where you made it

    • нщг вшв еру кшпре ерштп says:

      Thanks for the comment.

      One of the things I tried to point out was that we are evolved monkeys. However, there will be no such thing as evolved us in the future. We are it, just like gorillas, dead end.

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